By Flora M Brown, Ph.D.
Great parenting requires creating harmony and balance even if you work on a job. Here are five practical parenting tips that have worked for many others.
1. Clarify your values.
What do you find most important in life? What do you value? Your values will determine how you manage your family and work. Some of the things I value are learning, harmony, creativity, spirituality, research, music, fashion, humor, inspiring others, socializing with family and friends, and creating an inviting environment.
Because we valued learning, for example, it was important that our children attended school, completed homework and mastered concepts.Families who put a high importance on politics, on the other hand, may stress that their children be knowledgeable and conversant about local, national and world news.
2. Get real.
Before you got married and had a family, you probably had unrealistic expectations of what your life would be like. I know I did. As you watched toddlers throwing tantrums in the grocery store or saw your friends’ kids watching hours of TV, you probably vowed that you were not going to be “that” kind of parent. You probably also thought you’d never yell at your children, spank them or let your children see you get angry.
Get real. If you try to hold to these ridiculous expectations, then you’ll need professional help to untangle the psychological bind you’ve put yourself in.
Your children can survive and thrive with authentic parents who exhibit real emotions and flaws. Along with being real with yourself, you’ll allow your children to be real. Thankfully, having perfect grades and a well-kept room are not guarantees of a happy and fulfilling life. Pay more attention to grooming their insides than their outsides.
If you live long enough to become a grandparent, then you can enjoy the hero’s role. When asked why grandparents and grandchildren get along so well, someone said it’s because they have a common enemy.
3. Give up the fantasy of being a perfect parent.
You are going to make mistakes, upset your kids, and discover that Mary Poppins was a great movie-but fiction. Since I grew up in the era of perfect TV parents such as Ozzie and Harriet, I began my family with ridiculous expectations.
When I had my second child, I realized I needed help if I were to continue working. We hired a babysitter to help with our children and housekeeping.
4. Respect the sacredness of your home.
Create a loving environment and keep toxic people and things out. Toxic people are the ones who always make you feel down, depressed, discouraged and tired.
Just as you wouldn’t knowingly expose your family to harmful viruses, poison ivy and caustic fumes, don’t unknowingly expose them to negativity in the form of toxic people. While it may be true that the toxic
people you know are suffering from mental problems, it isn’t your job to cure them, and you certainly can’t drag them to therapy.
You owe it to yourself and your family to keep these toxic people away from you because there is no way to have them in your space without their negatively affecting you. This is true even if some of your relatives fall into this unfortunate group.
5. Use some of your money to create lasting memories rather than collecting transitory things.
Consider taking your children on memorable vacations or enjoying movies, games and other excursions together. Take lots of pictures of these occasions. The memories you create will be much more valuable and long-lasting than piles of toys and clothes.
For more tips to make your life easier, sign up for your free Weekly Newsletter [http://coloryourlifehappy.com/blog/get-weekly-newsletter/] Then listen to interviews with guests on my weekly radio show on Mondays at 11AM PST at BlogTalkRadio.com/florabrown who will share many ways to long-lasting happiness and life satisfaction.
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See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com