From the moment most mothers and fathers are aware that a baby is on the way they worry about their parenting style. Will they permanently damage their child by being too firm, not firm enough? Should a parent be a friend or should a parent be a distant disciplinarian? Should a parent be a friendly disciplinarian? Many parents struggle with developing a parenting style long after the child has left diapers. If you are currently trying to discover the perfect parenting style take a deep breathe and relax. There is no perfect parenting style, there is only the parenting style that works for you and your family.

The bedrock principle of any parenting style should be letting your child know from the first day of life that he/she is supported by your unconditional love. Beyond that the other building blocks for your life together will gradually take shape as your child grows up and as you grow with him/her. You will, however, have to work at finding a consistent parenting style that sets limits for your offspring while still responding with flexibility.

In the first days, months and even years of your child’s life you will both be discovering your strengths and your weaknesses. It’s also important during this time to discover the limits which everyone in the family will have. Many parents expect themselves to be able to satisfy all the needs that arise in their lives of their children. No parent can be everything to a child nor should a parent be a child’s total world. Children mature by gradually expanding beyond the boundaries their parents place around them for their protection. It is the parent’s responsibility to set these boundaries and then be wise enough to move them as the child grows up. An integral part of your parenting style will be the way in which you set your child’s limits and then expand or even remove those limits over time.

Beside love, limits and flexibility another hallmark of an effective parenting style is communication. No parent child relationship will exist without stress, strain and at times even outright arguments and pain. If a parent endeavors to establish strong open lines of communication from the very first days of the parent child dynamic then their relationship will survive the difficult days which accompany any child’s growth into adulthood. Parents and children communicate in a variety of ways many of which are not verbal. Part of your parenting style will be the ways you find to communicate with your child. Some parents may find a common interest can provide a safe haven for getting along when times get rough. There are parents and children who love each other very much but don’t have many shared enthusiasms. In that case a parent will have to go out of his/her way to find a line of communication. Some parents find that making an appointment for a time and activity shared only by one parent and one child can be a way to build a strong bond. Something as simple as sharing a meal in a favorite restaurant or making time to read together can create that all important conduit for communication.

In the long run, your parenting style may be as simple as the Golden Rule: Treat your child with the same love and respect with which you would like to be treated. Quite often the best parenting style can be teaching your child proper thought and behavior by thinking and acting properly yourself.