Have you ever noticed how when you are feeling off your children seem to pick that moment to play up and do things that they wouldn't normally do? This is unlikely to be a deliberate attempt on their part to irritate you. It is, however, their way of reacting to your stress levels.
One of the most important factors influencing kids' adjustments to their parents' separation or divorce is the level of parental hostility. How bad or how well children go through the divorce depends on how the situation is handled.
To give you concrete idea on what parental hostility will bring to your child, a list of several studies conducted by different researchers relative to hostility between parent and it's impact to child's development are herein presented.
One study conducted by Raschke and Raschke (1979) about parental hostility concluded that inter-parental conflict in divorced families had the most harmful effect on the children's self-concept; and conflict in general had a negative effect on child development.
Emery (1982) in his research concluded that open hostility over time, in both divorced and married families, causes more harm to children than does indirect hostility.
Shaw and Emery (1987) in their studies found that the higher the rate of externalized hostility between parents witnessed by children, the higher the level of distress for children. When compared with other family stresses, parental conflict appeared to have the most negative effect on children, and open conflict did more harm that internalized feeling of anger.
Camera and Resnick (1989) studies on divorced families concluded that inter-parental hostility and conflict, when exhibited through verbally aggressive and physical abusive behavior, had extremely negative results for children, who in turn often showed aggressive and abusive behavior in their own social lives.
Johnston, Gonzalez and Campbell (1987) study concluded that high levels of hostility between parents resulted, at the early stages, in high levels of depression, withdrawal and aggressive behavior in their children. Longer periods of inter-parental hostility became accurate predictors of long-term adjustment difficulties for children.
The above studies and researches all agree that parental hostility and conflict have the most negative effect on children and to their development. All these suggest how important it is for both parents to work together co-parenting their children.
If you are having difficulty parenting with your children's other parent then make your move now. Remedy your situation by getting a free copy of my ebook "8 Essential Steps To Cooperative Parenting and Divorce." Likewise, you can learn effective divorce parenting from my other ebook "101 Ways To Raise 'Divorced' Children to Successfully." For more information, please visit my website.
With the above information, I hope you will become an empowered divorced parent and believe that you can raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorced.
Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.
If the period leading up to your decision to divorce was particularly stressful for your children then don't prolong that stress by continuing to struggle with your ex-partner. Find a way to make the relationship work so that you can all 'build a bridge' and move on to the next phase of your life.
Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Get his other ebook for FREE, "8 Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce." Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com
